Writer’s lifts. Follow for follow backs. Tagging games. Social media can be fun, but it can also sometimes feel like being in the middle of a massive party that you weren’t quite invited to but are somehow attending.
 
Perhaps it’s because I’m a Geriatric Millennial. Or it might be because I was taught that ‘good girls’ need to wait their turn before making comments. (Yes, there’s a lot more to unpack there but this a blog, not a manifesto.) I’m not necessarily shy when I post but I do sometimes wish I had more guts, so to speak, when it comes to putting myself out there. 
​
​So why don't you just do it?

Well for one thing, it goes completely against my nature to barge into what I often perceive as the middle of a conversation. (I’ve tried figuring out when conversations actually begin on certain platforms and I’ve never been successful.) Secondly, I often don’t think that what I have to say will contribute in any meaningful way and therefore staying silent is the best course of action. 
 
Alas, I just don’t an iota of influencer in me. 
 
I am concerned that this could impact me when it comes to marketing my work. Currently, I have one book out in the world and plan to release another before the end of the year. I’d like to think that they will sell themselves, but we all know that’s not how the world works today. 
 
Earlier this month, I did try to engage more. I told myself I needed to create more posts, follow more folks, and make more comments. 
 
Reader, it drove me to the brink! Being on social media almost constantly throughout the day affected my mental health so negatively that I had to take an entire weekend away from all of my accounts, this blog, and my website. (This is why there was no post last weekend.) 
 
So, I am exploring other ways to get the word out about my work. I’m not deleting my accounts; I do find some comfort in interacting with people I’ve come to see as social media pals. And there is a benefit to seeing what other authors are saying and doing online. I just know now that, moving forward, I need to spend my time online wisely—and a little less awkwardly.
 
A Thing I Enjoyed This Week
 
I’m probably not alone here, but I’m really loving Loki (Disney+). I was a fan of the Norse god long before the MCU (I’ve always had a Thing for bad boys). In addition to the character development, I’m a huge fan of the retro futurism design! The show is fun and very well done. 
 
Until next time, Serrulata pals!  

​I’ve been working on my WIP for a few months now (I only write once a week so my WIPs always take a long time) and I’ve hit that place. The part that makes me sneer and think, Ugh and argh!
 
The Boring Part. 
 
I don’t know if other writers experience this. Maybe it’s just me. Is the Boring Part a Thing? Or just something I’ve made up? 
 
See, in order to move my story forward and get my characters where they need to be, they have to have certain conversations and do certain things. If they don’t the story won’t make sense.
 
But y’all, I’m just not into these two chapters that have to happen. 
 
I think the problem is that I know what’s going to happen next. 
 
Action! Fight scenes! Passion! 
 
But none of this can occur without what I’ve written during my past two sessions. Not gonna lie, both sessions were tedious. I found myself staring off into space or at my screen or wondering what everyone on Twitter was doing rather than writing.
 
After contemplating the nature of the universe, I did manage to get something down. I’m not sure it’s any good, but at least the words are on the page (or rather, in the Word doc) and I can move forward. I still have one more Boring Chapter to write before I can get to what I’m excited about, but next session I’ll be stepping back from my current WIP to start editing my romance novella. 
 
I’m thinking of it as a reward for getting through the Boring Part. 
 
It’s Journaling Time!
 
Last week I talked about my much-needed reset. In addition to taking other concrete steps toward better mental health, I decided to start journaling.
 
You’d think as a writer I wouldn’t have a problem putting pen to paper and pouring out my thoughts. But for me, journaling is much different than writing fiction. I haven’t kept a journal since I was in high school. During undergrad I simply didn’t have time. Then I graduated, got a “real job” and thought of myself as an adult and what adult keeps a damn diary?
(I had a lot of opinions about What It Means to Be an Adult in my 20s, most of which I’ve since discarded as patriarchal, capitalistic garbage.)
 
I’m finding it very difficult to be honest with myself when I write in my journal but I’m really trying. I’ve only got two entries so far, but after almost two decades of keeping everything inside I’m back to journaling. 
 
A Thing I Enjoyed This Week
 
I went out. To a happy hour. To one of my favorite bars. With a friend. (Yes, we’re both fully vaccinated.)
 
That’s it. That’s the Thing I Enjoyed This Week. 
 
Happy rest of the weekend, y’all!

​Y’all I really didn’t want to write this blog. I mean…really didn’t want to write it. I’ll get to why in a minute but, here I am. 
 
I took a break last weekend thinking I’d be able to recharge. It’s a holiday weekend, I thought to myself. Don’t blog! Don’t think about writing! Don’t think about your WIP! Don’t think about marketing!
 
That worked for all of about five minutes. 
 
Part of the problem was the weather. It rained and the temperature dropped considerably. Memorial Day weekend is supposed to be the start of the summer—not a cold, 50 degrees! 
 
So, stuck inside, I began to think. And then obsess. And then I spiraled.
 
By Monday afternoon I was trapped in my own head and there was nothing I could do to suppress my anxiety and depression. By Tuesday morning I could barely move and had to call out of work sick. It was an intense struggle to get out of bed to brush my teeth. 
 
It was a lot. 
 
And now we get to the part where I explain why I didn’t want to write this blog. I hate sharing things like this. I was raised in an environment where it wasn’t okay to talk about feelings. Mental illness makes you weak, was a common mantra. Therapists were called “shrinks” instead of, you know, therapists. I’ve been battling thoughts of inadequacy my entire adult life.
 
I thought success could cure me.
 
Surely, I said to myself, my brain will correct when I get my first job…my undergrad degree …my grad degree…when I publish my first book…
 
I think you get the idea. 
 
So, after a lot of meditation and introspection, I’ve decided to reset. I’m not, like, blowing up my whole life but I am going to try and approach a few things differently and that includes marketing my book. 
 
I probably should have done market research before self-publishing, but I’m done beating myself up over what I shouldhave done. I did that enough this past week, even after climbing out of my depression hole and kicking my anxiety in the head, and I’m not going to do it anymore. 
 
So…changes are coming. That’s all I will say for now. 
 
I’m feeling better and in much more control. I’m taking it one day at a time. 
 
A Thing I Enjoyed This Week
 
Yes, despite feeling poorly, I was still able to find joy this week. 
 
I’m big on Kindle Unlimited. (Yes, I know Amazon is Evil. We can get into that another time.) I love KU mainly because it allows me to access a lot of romance books that I can’t get at the library. 
 
KU recently suggested the Vino and Vertias series for me and, pals…it’s fantastic. If you’re into romance, you’ll want to check it out. Each book is written by a different person, so I was exposed to a bunch of new authors!
 
That’s all for now. Take care of yourselves! You’re worth it!